appetizing?

For some reason, I'm nervous to actually eat here.

vanity plates

So, I've been thinking about vanity license plates lately. Generally, my consensus boils down to a simple equation:

vanity plate = douche bag

However, I like to parody the things other people enjoy (NJOY?)... so, naturally I must also ponder what kind of vanity plate I'd get if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Here are some contenders:

ME N CAR (gotta love the obvious)

MCMXCVI (1996 in roman numerals. Funny? No. But imagine the confusion and car accidents I could cause)

BADRVR

STOLEN

DUH (eloquent!!)

HONK

Plus, I like this diagram. http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3773030

no "whats"

I have a comment section where you can pick "what??" to indicate back to me when I've fell completely off the random wagon. To-date, I have no "what??" scores. I guess that means I make more sense than I thought. (or no one is reading these)

See, Dr. Carpenter? I'm ready to leave the halfway house.

internetz fun

I highly recommend you go through this exercise of hilarity.

1. Find a paragraph of random sales info (for example, halloween costumes) on the internet.

2. Copy that paragraph.

3. Enter the text into babelfish.altavista.com.

4. Translate it from English to whatever other language.

5. Take the translated text, copy/paste, and translate back into English.

Enjoy!

***

Le recomiendo altamente paso con este ejercicio del hilarity. 1. Encuentre un párrafo de las ventas al azar Info (por ejemplo, trajes de víspera de Todos los Santos) en el Internet. 2. Copie ese párrafo. 3. Incorpore el texto en babelfish.altavista.com. 4. Tradúzcalo de inglés a lo que la otra lengua. 5. Tome el texto traducido, copie/goma, y lo traducen nuevamente dentro de inglés. ¡Goce!

***

I highly recommend passage to him with this exercise of hilarity.

1. It at random finds a paragraph of the sales Info (for example, suits of eve of All the Saints) in the Internet.

2. It copies that paragraph.

3. It incorporates the text in babelfish.altavista.com.

4. Tradúzcalo of English to which the other language.

5. It takes the translated text, it copies/rubber, they again translate and it within English.

Enjoyment!

hmmm...

Can you guess the name of this song? It's hard to tell.

Be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good be good (johnny)
Be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Be good be good be good
Johnny!

hand hole

This box was sitting next to me on a picnic table yesterday. Fascinating.

execs

Confucius may or may not agree, but *I* say - senior business leaders shouldn't talk about the "low-hanging fruit" while wearing tight pants.

elevator dreams

My new job is inside an office tower with 24 floors. My cubicle is on the 22nd, so I have to take the elevator up. I'm not really used to elevator culture although I see elevator rides on TV all the time. So I know that, you know, if there's a hot neurosurgeon in the elevator, I should make sloppy mouth love with him but not accept his proposal of marriage.

Umm... but yeah, other than that, it's all new to me.

seeds

If you think about it, seeds are kind of gross. They are meant to be digested by animals and pooped out in farther-reaching areas as a way to propagate that plant's species. I guess humans messed things up by creating order around their excrement habits.

germany

Growing up, I would often hear, "You should be grateful to the young men of America like your grandpa who fought for this country and gave their lives in World War II to keep you safe and free. If they hadn't, you'd be drinking German beer right now."

Probably not as effective an example as it could be... right now, it's Monday morning and I'm sitting in a cubicle. Drinking German beer sounds AWESOME.